It’s feels like I’m sleeping beside you again.

I can smell you on your pillow. I never thought this bed can be so big without you to cuddle with. I pretend that you just took a piss for a while and that when I wake up at 2am, you’d be beside me again. Your arms wrapped around me, or your hand entwined with mine — the way we always do when we fall asleep.

But reality kicks in and bites me hard. I know that you won’t be returning from that little toilet trip of yours. I know you won’t be kissing me goodnight. When I wake at 2, no arms will be holding me. This bed. This very bed — too big for me now — will comfort me while I cry.

I say goodnight to you, my one great, true and eternal love.

For now I shall be resigning to slumber alone, bidding myself goodnight. I shall forever be hopeful for that one morning when I shall be seeing your face and waking to the sound of voice again. Til then, this bed will comfort me while I cry.

My tears mixing with your scent, as if knowing that I am longing to be with you again.

I will forever be loving you. No amount of hatred can change that.

NO HEARTACHE, NO MISTRUST, NO DECEIT CAN CHANGE THAT. EVER.

PS. In case you haven’t noticed, I miss you. SO MUCH.

I’ve always hated waiting — from queing for tickets, to waiting for a late friend (which rarely happens because i am THE late friend), to waiting for something to fall out of the sky and into my hands. i am NOTa fan of waiting.

But lately I find myself doing things i despise.

Now I know that waiting is an art. It is patience in another form. No. It is patience in its TRUEST form. But here’s the catch: how long can you wait for someone who’s not gonna come anyway? Is this patience, still? Or do we have another term for this kind of deed? Whatever it is that you might wanna call it, today, I am giving it my last shot. Waiting can be so sweet sometimes, when the one you’ve patiently waited for greets you with a smile and a hug full of yearning, of eagerness. I am afraid that my waiting will not turn out that way. I can only pray that it’ll turn out otherwise. Til then, I can only wait.

— sit down. listen to a playlist. keep calm. #mantra

So yea, no, i did not unfriend you! i just deactivated my account. FB’s too much for me right now so expect a lot of Tumbling from moi hahaha :) let’s enjoy Tumblr for now :) Happy New Year!:)